Sunday, May 22, 2005

Democats and Republidogs

It is no no wonder the left blogosphere chooses to have cat blogging on fridays. Many liberals own cats. I am sure the parallel symbolisms that link personal politics and choice of domestic pets has been done ad nauseum. Thus, I have prepared my ego by setting my traffic expectations extremely low. I have been a cat owner for the last 2 or 3 years (with a lapse somwehere in between of about 12 months, miss you Figo!) and have only recently (as recently documented at MIT) become a dog owner.

Since my new challenge in life is to get these two oposites to attract, I thought why not blog it and perhaps help some people along the way. People who may see themselves tangled in the same web of the geopolitical battlefield in their 300 sqare foot mid-urban apartments. Taming the same diplomatic beast (pardon the terrible pun).

So, I will try to give a tidbit of helpful information with every post as well as make acute political points along the way, drawing off the probably over reaped soil of dog=conservative (or republican) and cat=liberal (perhaps democrat but with much more conviction). Finally, as Robert Stack delivers with absolute excellence, and as I will take the distinct pleasure of "pulling a Pepper" on: "The dogs and cats are real, but the stories are not."

Tip #1. Redistribution of wealth. Food is to be the singlemost greatest challenge. Your Republican dog will want to eat anything you feed him. If you had a feeding trough installed in your kitchen your dog would probably eat until his liver would turn into the first ever dog harvested foie gras (Soon2B outlawed in some states). Cats, liberal as they are, on the otherhand being more conscious of their bodies and health (easily identified by their self-cleaning bonus feature) have knowledge of satiation. You can put a feeding trough in for a cat and if you started off training your cat with 2 or 3 feedings a day, that cat will eat only those 2 or 3 times per diem.

Thus the challenge. If you are fortunate enough in life to have been bestowed the pleasure of dog and cat co-habitation, then you will almost immediately realize that keeping Sgt Pepper from Seatie's food is a major problem. Particularly since Seatie is always being chased by Sgt. Pepper.

May I suggest a wee pet door that only Seatie has the key for. Like one of these. Let Seatie have the only key to the door and store her litter box AND food behind it. If you are going to put this in say a porch for instance, make sure that when Sgt. Pepper goes outside you ensure the food is at a level where he can't reach it. This way your cat can have its own little place to eat drink and poop. All rather important functions.

This also keeps Seatie's turds from becoming Sgt. Pepper's tootsie rolls.

However, this suggestion may not work if you own a dog that is smaller than your cat. If that is the case, perhaps your household's liberal cat dominance is the direction where the some of us would like to see the real government going. To yee I say: leave thy comments on this Historical first post of Democats and Republidogs.